Idunnothisgoodenough
11th October 2004, 08:46 PM
Here's a little background... I'm only 26 and already been divorced once with one son who's now 18 months. I met my current husband when my son was 4 months. We hit it off famously. I fell in love with him and then I began to learn about all the stupid, petty lies he had told me during our courtship. I became pregnant in late February and now I'm due in less than 6 weeks. Probably more like 3 since I've been so stressed out over this I'm having fairly regular contractions already.
My husband has 2 addictions though. One is alcohol he says he can quit when ever he wants (but hasn't so far) and that he's only a weekend drinker, but I say if he can drink a liter of vodka in a night, there's a problem. The second is the internet when he's been drinking.
My mother (on her own accord) mentioned to a friend that she thought he might be unfaithful to me. Her friend enticed my husband to come over and meet her so they could have a quick romp. He made up a bogus excuse to go fix a computer so he could go meet his "secret date". The worst part is he used my son from my previous relationship as a pawn in this and took him with. Luckily for me and my son he was set up; but what if it hadn't been a set up and he was having an affair and taking my innocent baby with??? I found out almost a week later what had happened. My mother didn't want to tell me til after the baby was born. But my husband went on a drinking binge and I had to take off work because the baby was in the kitchen playing in cleaners when I got home from work. My husband can't even stay concious to care for my son, as I work and he stays at home "working on his business". My mother was so infuriated that the baby could have easily been killed that she finally told me what her friend had done. I've had suspicions of this before and I always catch it before he gets a chance to do anything. SO, I suppose I could say I don't have proof that anything would have happened anyway. I don't accuse, I just make friendly with the ladies he chats with and then they feel so guilty (I'm guessing) they tell him to piss off.
I love him, and I am willing to work through this and forgive him. The problem is, he doesn't think he has a problem. He says I have the problem. I've read all the things he told my mom's friend about me and saw the disgusting pictures he sent her. I am very open minded, but not on the subject of sharing my husband with another person, man or woman. All I want is his honesty, but truthfully I think he's lied to himself for so long that he doesn't know the truth from the lies anymore either.
If he would talk with me, he'd find that just about anything except acting on a thought is ok with me. So long as it doesn't become an obsession. Fantasies are fun, but that's all they can be. If I could just trust him again I know we could move on.
What do I do?
My husband has 2 addictions though. One is alcohol he says he can quit when ever he wants (but hasn't so far) and that he's only a weekend drinker, but I say if he can drink a liter of vodka in a night, there's a problem. The second is the internet when he's been drinking.
My mother (on her own accord) mentioned to a friend that she thought he might be unfaithful to me. Her friend enticed my husband to come over and meet her so they could have a quick romp. He made up a bogus excuse to go fix a computer so he could go meet his "secret date". The worst part is he used my son from my previous relationship as a pawn in this and took him with. Luckily for me and my son he was set up; but what if it hadn't been a set up and he was having an affair and taking my innocent baby with??? I found out almost a week later what had happened. My mother didn't want to tell me til after the baby was born. But my husband went on a drinking binge and I had to take off work because the baby was in the kitchen playing in cleaners when I got home from work. My husband can't even stay concious to care for my son, as I work and he stays at home "working on his business". My mother was so infuriated that the baby could have easily been killed that she finally told me what her friend had done. I've had suspicions of this before and I always catch it before he gets a chance to do anything. SO, I suppose I could say I don't have proof that anything would have happened anyway. I don't accuse, I just make friendly with the ladies he chats with and then they feel so guilty (I'm guessing) they tell him to piss off.
I love him, and I am willing to work through this and forgive him. The problem is, he doesn't think he has a problem. He says I have the problem. I've read all the things he told my mom's friend about me and saw the disgusting pictures he sent her. I am very open minded, but not on the subject of sharing my husband with another person, man or woman. All I want is his honesty, but truthfully I think he's lied to himself for so long that he doesn't know the truth from the lies anymore either.
If he would talk with me, he'd find that just about anything except acting on a thought is ok with me. So long as it doesn't become an obsession. Fantasies are fun, but that's all they can be. If I could just trust him again I know we could move on.
What do I do?