What do i do where do i go - wife betrayal

[mjdirect]

This unfortunate story happened to me last week.
My wife of 8 years who i have 2 lovely children boys (5)& (7) has recently betrayed me by cheating with another man. But my story has a strange theme.
Its been about 12 months since my wife began geing involved
in an alternate lifestyle in "energy healing" also known as lightworking i thought yeah some meditation some learning good on her and i supported her all the way without restriction this saw me allowing her to travel quite often to international locations and attending seminars and workshops etc. I was really happy to stay home and play single day for a few weeks here and there and let my lovely wife explore her interests. OK heres the bombshell she takes a day off working to go to see some special site 100KM away with a guy who i hadnt seen but my father did who was at home when the man arrived. My dad described him as a hippy a bit weird. Turned out after feeling a little indifference a few days later about 5 days I probed my wife for detail for what she was doing on her day off. And she laid it on me she had sex with this guy who she claims they have had many past lives together and were very close partners. She puts it down to being an event that had to happen I am coming to gripes with that approach at the momemnt. Mainly brecause we made a pact that if one of us had such desires to explore with other people we will discuss the matter, make a phone call regardless of the circumstances thats the bond that I once thought I had. honesty and intergrety had become words that felt lost.
I could write alot about my sitautons at the moment but it just gets too bizarro.

Keep your chins up and battle away you can all do it - so i try to tell myself.

God Bless and Loves you all.

[Kate]

Well I think your wife's excuse is quite amazing. It's the first time I've heard the excuse that it was bound to happen because of previous lives! I don't share your wife's beliefs so it sounds like a cop out to me for not taking responsibilty for her actions and the hurt she is causing. As you say she didn't contact you to talk about it as you had agreed. I'm not surprised that you you judge she's let you down and broken the trust between you.



Have you been able to challenge her on that? Does she intend to continue the relationship?



Kate

[mjdirect]

thanks for the response Kate much appreciated. I feel like the pasts lives thing
is a big cop out, sounds great but come on I say. At the moment Norma my my wife is adamant she loves me and wants to stay with me. I dont know whether this is just a comfort zone trying to be maintained or whether its genuine, I feel we still love each other but in a differnet way now (well from my prespective) anyhow, I just question myself is it real or is it fake. She admits she loves this man but in a different type of way, in more (divine) way, as she puts it but she says it does not take away from our love and she says she wants to stay with me cause she loves me. Wah I dont know its getting real tough to decide where to go. I feel swayed to cut ties and I feel she has gone over the egde and really disconnected us in a way.

Take Care and Best Wishes

P.S
Here the website of the guy my wife committed adultery with.
http://www.zakairan.com/

[Concerned reader]

Dear mjdirect

There is nothing funny in a family in such turmoil, but honestly, it is very hard to keep a straight face when I look at that website. I thought it was a satirical comment on the change-your-life gurus and panhandlers. But from what you write, there is actually some part of him which truely believes this twaddle.

My guess is that your wife may be feeling very sheepish at the moment as he probably has managed to con her out of some money (not too much I hope) and she may have gradually realized that he is meeting ladyfriends from other lifetimes.

If you can find it in your heart - and I know it has taken a beating - to put this in to the category of her learning, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, that "there's no place like home" it may be possible to repair this very well indeed.

It would be helpful if you can do so sympathetically, to ask gently what she was searching for and to see if you can help her find it. She must have had some sadness, some emptiness, which made her susceptible to this folly.

My very best wishes

[Concerned Reader]

No, look, (falls on floor laughing) it has got to be a spoof, but an elaborate one which has improbably taken on a life of its own. He has a hairy chest and a medalion - oh, come on.

I half admire it and wish I had thought of becoming a new age guru. I'd be rolling in dough by now. (But I'm not prepared to sprout a hairy chest, not even for money).

As to whether you should let this episode affect your marriage - well, let's consult Rev Kev (one of his earlier personas) on that. He quotes that over-rated pre-chewed philosophical treatise 'The Matrix' and counsels you thus:

"1 - "Don't try to bend the spoon, because that's impossible. Just realize the truth, that there is no spoon." (From the movie, "The Matrix")

And do you know, in a strange way he's right.

[mjdirect]

Hi Concerned Reader,

Thanks for your input. This guy is right out there in space
my life is a little like the matrix at the moment the choices that have
to be made the possible outcomes that are being presented.
I am trying hard to move on and forgive and forget and at this time 'now' everything is fine between us but something special we had in the past has certainly been tarnished in this bizarre state of affairs.
MN