Lonely

[pauliebish]

I am not sure where to turn anymore. My husband ignores me when I talk to him. When I get mad he gets defensive or doesn't respond. We have been married for 5 years. I really want my marriage to work, but I am soooo lonely, and angry.

[Anon]

Hi,

Sorry to hear of your troubles, but there is plenty of help available.
A great book is by Michelle Weiner David called Divorce Remedy. You can buy it on Amazon.co.uk
This book helps you understand your H's actions at the moment and the best way to deal with them. Another good book to read is Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. This helps you understand just how different men and women are.
Sometimes we do things which we think are helping and encouraging our partners who seem to be going through a bad time, yet in reality we are actually pushing them further away. If your H seems to want time to himself at the moment, then give him this time, but do not sit around waiting for him. Let him see that whilst you are giving him some space, that you are going out and doing things for yourself as well. Start meeting upwith friends more or going to evening classes etc etc. Let him see that you are aware he is unhappy with something at the moment, but you are prepared to give him his own space to sort it out - then get on with doing things on your own that make you happy.
Do not pressurise him into talking about what is bothering him - this will push him further away. He will talk to you when he feels ready.
I wish you all the best luck - you are in a great position to turn this around if you want to and create a happy and loving relationship again. Unfortunately for alot of us posting on this site, we have partners who have actually moved out, and we are trying to build the pieces back to together, which is much harder than if our partners still lived at home.
You can work through this if you really want to, but it will be easier to do it now, rather than risk things get any worse.
Read the books I have suggested above, as these will give you lots of great ideas on how to approach your H etc etc.

Good luck

Anon