Child Support ?

[Springheeled Jack]

Now as you know if you have been reading my posts that I have step children.

I also have a son by a previous marriage that Ive been paying Child Support for through the Child Support Agency every month. now my shep children's biological father has never paid my wife maintenance or supported his children in any way shape or form.

In the three years that Ive known my wife Ive been supporting not only my own son whom by the awkwardness of his mother I see once a month. Anyway I support my stepchildren as a Father should.

My question is should I inform the Child Support Agency of this? Is it fair that their bio father should get away with out supporting his children. Im supporting his children as well as my own son. He's never given frequent payments as I have. Is their any wonder that their is "animosity" with him?

If he shows up, would I have just cause to be resentful? :o

[smackie9]

Dear Jack, Isn't this something your wife should deal with?

[Springheeled Jack]

Smackie9, that is something that I have asked and asked and asked.
She is isnt bothered as she is a proud woman, she sees it that she has brought the chldren up on her own all this time. Even though I am on the scene so to speak she sometimes finds it hard to "break out of the habit" that she isnt bringing them up on her own any more.

Dont get me wrong, I dont begrudge the kids anything, as they are always grateful. MY son being 12 always like to take the mickey by seeing how much he can get out of "his old man"!! My daughter bless her goes for the cheaper option she some times tells me off for spending on them. :rolleyes:

This guy has 8 kids by several different women!! Sometimes my wife says it is a shame that the CSA are contacting him!! After toning down my bad language before replying to her, the clean reply to that was "If he didnt want to be fleeced by the CSA then he should have kept it zipped up!!" what can he expect with 8 kids or more. :mad:

hows this for a coincidence. He has the same name as my Father, and his youngest son has the same name as my biological son!! :eek:

Any wonder why I have so much animosity towards this guy that it would take your breath away!!

I dont really mind supporting the kids if it means "THAT" stays away!!! :o

[Concerned reader]

It might be wise to talk to a benefits advisor or an accountant or something before making any approaches to the CSA.

It could start a very nasty argument with your wife if she does not want to. If those forms dropped on the mat without her knowing you had even approached the CSA....well, I would make sure there is a stout sofa to hide behind. Ask at the Citizen's Advice Bureau about how to contact someone purely for advice but on no account start anything 'official' until you've had a very long think and an even longer talk about it with your wife.

The tax and benefits situation of a woman who has been bringing up children on her own may be more complex than you are completely aware of.

One criticism of the child support arrangements is that they create a psycholgical link between the support of a child and contact with it. The subject of contact is a raw and complex one, but the Family Courts and the CSA have repeatedly made clear that finance and access are technically separate issues. There is much disagreement about the rightness or wrongness of this.

Living in the real world, if I didn't want someone turning up, I'd be slow to do anything which might result in them thundering down and trying to 'get their money's worth' as a direct result of contact from the CSA.

Historically, the CSA has had a very chequered history due to the fact that it was never completely clear whether it was trying to modify people's behaviour via benefits system or just recoup some benefit money. The first director, Roz Hepplewhite, was pilloried for telling MPs to clarify this and warning that the effect, as you so well demonstrate, was to make very little difference to the 'multiple-breeders' but to strongly chase the identifyable and largely middle-class people who have some money worth chasing and are on their second or maybe third families.

Some commentators have said that this effect was so strong as to alienate a crucial chunk of Conservative voters at the 1997 election. I think there is some credibility in this as I saw first-hand just how incensed some men, and their partners, were when faced with CSA assessments.

The CSA continues to attract criticism, often for its internal operational failings, and the overall result has been to focus on narrow financial mechanisms. If it can recover money, it will try to do so. As for whether people should be allowed, encouraged, punished, penalized of 'fleeced' in respect of their sexual behaviour, well, are those moral judgements for the CSA to take?

There are many proper places for such judgements to be made, but I'm not sure you can use the CSA as an agent of justice because as things stand, that is not what it is for.

However, that doesn't mean you have to do absolutely nothing. It is the conference season and we are in the run-up to an election. 'The Family' has already been selected by the major parties as a key area of concern so stand by for much stimulating discussion on the subject. Hold back a bit before deciding what you think, then get your pen out and give your MP the benefit of your first-hand experience.

If you think you can work out a fairer, better set of rules for how to decide about the financial support of children then have a bash at it.

Hint: check carefully that any rule you propose will actually work how you think it should.

[Jack]

Well. put it quite simply.

My kids bio father is getting away with paying NOTHING. Through some "misdirected past loyalty" that my wife STILL has for him, she is letting him get away with it.

this joker has NEVER worked, is in to all thing not strictly legal. Always has loads of money, has kids all over the place. Me, Ive never been in bother with the police ever, have worked hard all my life for the little Ive got. I was honest enough to tell the CSA that I am not only supporting my son, but my step son AS WELL.

The price of my honesty? They are putting my maintenance up!!

#My wife says that I dont have a reason to hate the kids bio father, Err..... Doesnt this constitute as one. People am I being unreasonable? Do I have a point here.

As it stands, because my wife has a case with the CSA with the kids, and because I have one too. Her case goes on to the crackpot new system pulling mine along with it, as we are linked together.

My wife refuses to renew her claim, to get any money from this man, whereas she is ready to stand by and see me suffer.

Any wonder why Im resentful!! Am I being silly?