Not sure whats happening

[Tezza]

My wife and l have always had pretty seperate lives, she loves children, and we have a very large family. She wants more, l dont, she says by me saying no l a inflicting my will on her, l say she is inflicting on me, anyway, thsats the start of it, over the yeasrs she fell into a depression, she is now out the otherside, but the quiret, timid girl that went in is now a loud, swearing, woman in her forties who wants to go clubbing with our tennage kids. I was always n ecxtrovert, but, lver the years have quitened down, its almoast like we have swaped positions. Recently she has started going out a lot in the evenings, to her freiends, or to my best mates house. At first l thoiught nothing of it, but, when she kisses me goodbye now, its like she is kissing a stranger, l confronted her, are you seeing someone, l was tolds dont be so stupid, but with some swearing in there.
I feel lonely and unloved, what do l do.

[Liz]

Have you thought of going out with her?

If she has focussed very much on being a mum for the last fifteen or twenty years and ahs been depressed, she may be struggling with who she is, and what her role in life is. I'm not suggesting that you have to become noisy and extrovert like her, because she probably needs you not to change, but you can still go out with her and keep her company.

Why not find out how she knows she is loved by you. Check out whether it is you words, actions, time and attention, gifts or physical affection? Don't assume you know and then try and ensure that you are showing love in that way consistently.

If she is looking for something, why not make sure that she finds the lasting love and support with you. Some men and women go through a sort of identity crisis at this stage, which does pass. Why not have a look at some of the resources here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffpressures/lateryears/) and perhaps consider having a weekend away together. There are some programmes listed here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/healthclub/servprov/datelist.html) that might interest you.

Liz