magickat
14th September 2004, 03:59 AM
I have been married for approx 6 yrs. We have a 2 yr old son. Before my son was born, I had a strong sex drive...but after the birth, sex didnt seem to be much of a priority for me. The first 3 yrs of our marriage, my husband had very little interest in sex. I got tired of trying to make things fun and exciting and appealing for him and pretty much gave up. That is when all of a sudden his sex drive began to rage. Thats when we concieved our son, which was a wonderful thing we were both thrilled about. After having a child, my sex drive dropped tremendously, but my husbands remained strong. It was a subject of many arguments for about a year, then we decided to speak with a marraige counselor. The counselor stated we had a good marriage, were able to work out our problems effectively, and that it is normal for a woman's sex drive to drop once she becomes a mother. I also work part time, fyi. Other problems came out, things that my husband has had from past baggage (jealousy, possessiveness, trust issues, control issues). The therapist cut us off after 5 sessions, he did not feel we needed any professional help at that point. That was about a year ago.
In the past couple of months, my husband has been very distant to me. He has no patience with me or our son and seemed to disconnect himself with us on a daily or near daily basis. When I question him about whats going on he claimed he is tired or stressed from work or doesnt want to talk about it. After a while I stopped asking as it just seemed to make him angrier.
About 2 mos ago he began getting rather chummy with a female coworker who is going thru a divorce. My husb was worried about her, felt sorry for her, etc. At first, I didnt care that he talk to her as often as he did because he usually just chatted with her on the computer. About a week ago all of this has changed. He talks to her for hours on end, on the phone.. and always he must leave the house, and talk outside... to smoke, so he likes to say. I cant take it anymore. I feel it is completely inappropriate, regardless of the problems she is having in her personal life, now he and I are having much more serious problems. He has no time for me and his son and he refuses to give up these conversations at home with her on the phone.
I told him how I feel about all of this and he got upset that I am accusing him of an affair when that is the farthest from the truth. Honestly, I do not think he is having a physical relationship with this woman... but I know that he is substituting the closeness missing in our marriage with another woman and that is very threatening to me. We had a pretty big argument about this on Wed or Thursday. On Friday, I found out I am pregnant.
I am terrified. I cannot stop thinking about any of this. I cannot this sort of thing is happening to us as we have always been a loving and affectionate couple...
I think he will agree to more counseling, but he is telling me that he will go to a psychologist himself because he doesnt know what his problems are or how to get over them. I think he is not telling me the truth in a lot of areas.
I know u think he is cheating... I really dont think he is for a few reasons I dont want to post at this time. But I feel very strongly that keeping a relationship with this woman, to the extreme that it is, is going to take him down the road of infidelity eventually. Maybe 6 mos and he will loose all grip of our marriage and do something drastic.
Any advice out there for me?
In the past couple of months, my husband has been very distant to me. He has no patience with me or our son and seemed to disconnect himself with us on a daily or near daily basis. When I question him about whats going on he claimed he is tired or stressed from work or doesnt want to talk about it. After a while I stopped asking as it just seemed to make him angrier.
About 2 mos ago he began getting rather chummy with a female coworker who is going thru a divorce. My husb was worried about her, felt sorry for her, etc. At first, I didnt care that he talk to her as often as he did because he usually just chatted with her on the computer. About a week ago all of this has changed. He talks to her for hours on end, on the phone.. and always he must leave the house, and talk outside... to smoke, so he likes to say. I cant take it anymore. I feel it is completely inappropriate, regardless of the problems she is having in her personal life, now he and I are having much more serious problems. He has no time for me and his son and he refuses to give up these conversations at home with her on the phone.
I told him how I feel about all of this and he got upset that I am accusing him of an affair when that is the farthest from the truth. Honestly, I do not think he is having a physical relationship with this woman... but I know that he is substituting the closeness missing in our marriage with another woman and that is very threatening to me. We had a pretty big argument about this on Wed or Thursday. On Friday, I found out I am pregnant.
I am terrified. I cannot stop thinking about any of this. I cannot this sort of thing is happening to us as we have always been a loving and affectionate couple...
I think he will agree to more counseling, but he is telling me that he will go to a psychologist himself because he doesnt know what his problems are or how to get over them. I think he is not telling me the truth in a lot of areas.
I know u think he is cheating... I really dont think he is for a few reasons I dont want to post at this time. But I feel very strongly that keeping a relationship with this woman, to the extreme that it is, is going to take him down the road of infidelity eventually. Maybe 6 mos and he will loose all grip of our marriage and do something drastic.
Any advice out there for me?