is there hope??

[fallenstar]

I found out 2 wks. ago that my H was having an affair. I had suspected this but was in denial. Well, now the shock and crying constantly have gone away and I've decided to try and make our marriage work if he's willing. We immediatly started marriage therapy which seems to be helping. The problem is that he's still unsure if he wants to be back in the marriage. The affair is over but he states he need to figure out his life. He says he doesn't want to hurt me again. It was his idea for the past month (before the affair was revealed) to separate for awhile to think about things. He's STILL in the house. (not in same bed though) He makes up excuses that there are no hotel rooms available, blah, blah, blah. I told him if he can't figure out by a month from now what he wants, then I've got to move on for the sake of our toddler. Is this a sign that he's just scared to move on from this because of how ashamed he is. My heart is screaming for him but I just don't know who he is right now. Any advice please!!

[pauliebish]

There is always hope. I think at this point you need to consider what is best for you and your child. You have no control over him, but you are responsible for yourself and the "toddler". Its not an easy decision, but you will make it if you leave him, if you believe in yourself. It sounds like he is not sure what he wants so tell him to move out until he figures it out. Try to move on for your sake. If it is going to work he will come back or you will find that you don't need him. Try to remember your desicions all effect a child, put that child first, before your anger and sadness. Deal with him as the father of your child not your lover, because he broke that vow, and it is okay to move on.