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fallenstar
31st August 2004, 07:05 PM
I found out a week ago that my H was having an affair. The ow's Husband told me everything. Currently, my H is in and out of the house because we are trying to make a normal surrounding for the sake of our toddler. He's of coarse very sorry he hurt me. We are now in therapy and he seems to really like it. I am willing to try and get past this but I still get mixed signals from him. He swears that the affair is over and he won't speak to her again. When he's at the house, he won't talk about it or look at me or ask how I'm doing. I feel very alone in this and feel he's not showing me enough support through this. Am I expecting too much from him this early in the healing process. Close friends have told me he probably is just embarrased and doesn't know what he's supposed to do. Also, a disturbing thing happened last nt. He came to the house around 7:30pm and as soon as he got there his cell phone rang and it was HER! He didn't answer it and said he had 2 more deals closing with her (he's a loan consultant and shes a realtor) and she probably called to update him on something. She never left a message. I was furious! He explained that he had to finish these 2 deals with her b/c they were in final stages of closing the loan and then he'll never have to associate with her again! I just don't know if I should believe him or not. If anyone has successfuly repaired their marriage and got past this, please enlighten me. I've read books and advice, but hearing a true story of making the marriage work would help. Thanks

Kate
2nd September 2004, 05:35 PM
Dear Fallenstar,

A friend of mine was in a similar position. her husband got involved with a work colleague and even moved in with her. My friend had many ups and downs, but her friends prayed for her and encouraged her to persevere. In the end he came home and she was able to forgive him and start again. it wasn't easy, she still struggled with fears and suspicions, with his attitude and the effect it had had on t he children. They have gradually rebuilt trust and their relationship.

If you have your faith you have a lot going for you, especially if you have good friends to support you too. Don't expect things to move too fast. Your husband will be struggling with all sorts of things inside including guilt.

All the best

Kate