affair revealed...god help me!

[fallenstar]

I stumbled upon my H affair last nt. I found out through ow husband. I'm an emotional mess right now. He called and said he's staying at a hotel for awhile and he's messed up right now. He hasn't seen his 2 yr. old in 2 days! What do I do?? Am I supposed to contact an attorney? I'm a stay home Mom! I'm so scared! I'm a christian and a part of me wants to work through this since he stated he just needs support until he figures out why he did this. Then another part of me wants out! My family getting involved doesn't help either. They are trying to help me but really it's wearing me down further w/ there negative comments. Anyone who has delt w/ this please help me. I hurt so bad right now. What do I do...........

[bridie]

Oh, fallenstar, my heart goes out to you. i know how you feel, i can empathis totally. I went through this 7 years ago with my h, ( nothing at all to do with our problems now,) and i was devastated. i also found out through a third party. we lived apart for a little while, and i honestly never thought id get over it. but i did. and so will you. like you i had family advising, and let me tell you, its the worst thing you can do. my h. and i got back together, and had 7 years of happiness, and appreciated each other a lot more for it. i would never say it was a good job it happened, but in a way it did help us to see what we ment to each other, and our marriage was better for it. it seems like the end of the world to you, but it may be the beginning of a new relationship for you both together. th old saying abaler is true in this case, the pain does get less, and you do go longer periods without thinthe affair,. As i said, our problems now have nothing to do with the affair, we got over that qui. dont listen to any advise from family, they mean well, but do hurt us. im not a christian, but i do believe in marriage vows, and felt as betrayed as you do now. but an affair isnt always theend of a marriage, in my eyes there are many worse things a man can do. follow your heart, when your husband is ready to come home be prepared to move on from this. i was told that statistically, men almost never set up home with a mistress, something like 80% of men go back with there wives. and almost always, what we imagine theyve done with the other woman , is much worse than what theyve actually done, if you see what i mean! we were happy after an affair, im sure you two can be too. take care. bridie