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Sonu
7th July 2004, 01:03 PM
I am in a mess. Recently I chanced upon my husband's mobile phone bills.There were too many calls to a number------everyday and long ones.On being confronted he confessed it was a girl but said it was only frndship.However I can't beleive him.He is a person of few words and now I see calls of over 40 50 even 60 minutes.I mean I did not think he could talk for more than 5 min to anyone.He tried his best to convince and pleaded that I should not call this girl.I agreed but then called her after few days as I was desperate to know the truth.She was nice but said she wanted to keep the freindship family types so was insisting on meeting me and wanting my hubby to meet her husband to which my husband refused and they ended few weeks back.Anyway my trust was broken.I have no option and 2 kids so I decided to rebuild.But as the time has passed (it has been 4 months) I have learnt so much my husband was hiding.Like deletion of her no. from mobile everyday,deletion of messages,meeting her by telling me lies about his whereabouts etc.Worst was that he kept saying if I had told you the relationship would be on even now,now you don't beleive me and she doesn't beleive me,now you are upset and she is upset I mean she is everywhere.Moreover he said I got freindly coz she looked gr8 and carried herself well etc.
I have really lost trust and self esteem and feel so humiliated.I mean after 8 years of marriage suddenly this.I am more shocked coz he always pretended to be caring but now I know he always called several times so that I don't call him when he is talking to her.In the bill I saw he always called me minutes before calling her.I feel so low and he blames me for calling her saying I humiliated him.
Our relationship is gone I feel and I feel no better in these months.

Alan
7th July 2004, 03:54 PM
Sonu - sorry to read of your troubles. Betrayal of trust is hard to take and it rips the soul from your body, especially when you find out in the manner you did.

I don't really know what to say to you that will give you any comfort other than to say that I sympathise and understand how you feel.

Hang in there.

Alan

Sonu
8th July 2004, 06:39 AM
Thanx Alan

It feels good to have someone understand what I am going through. I know there is not much anyone can do. To be very honest I don't think I feel anything for my Husband except anger but I have to stick around as I am a housewife and not economically independent. My marriage is gone.

You know after I called that girl I felt worse coz till then I was hoping someone would deny it but no such luck.Infact to complete my humiliation her husband called up to say don't bother my wife please sort out with your husband. I felt awful.She was not hiding from her husband but my husband saw nothing wrong in keeping me in the dark. Now my husband claims it was coz he did not want to lose me.I can't understand how he would lose me by saying he had a freind and we must invite them with family etc. Other families also come over and we go over.

Now for everything he says I feel he is manipulating me. On top of it he insits that I should become normal fast!!!!!!!!

I have a nagging suspicion that he is still smitten by her. One day after some drinks he said since the time she has stopped writing e mails to her he has stopped checking his mails at all!!!!!!!!!

Anyway I hope god will help me.

hulkhogan
17th July 2004, 07:56 PM
hi my name is steven i have a problem i keep on pushing my girlfriend clair i sent her a stupid txt sayin its obviously that she doesnt want me and i left her in the hotel room but the problem is i am madly in love with her i have bin depressed lately ive been thretening to kill my self witch i shouldnt have said my great grandmother died recently my billy died of cancer i have been sayin my family don't give a dam but thats not true they do give a dam can someone please help me i am indesperate need of help ps i gave her an ultimateum 2 day decide about our relation ship by tuesday or its over i feel bad really bad

Dave
17th July 2004, 10:25 PM
Hi Hulkhogan


You sound like you are clinically depressed. You need to go and see your doctor to ask him for some help. I suggest you also just tell your girlfriend that you are depressed and ask for her support and help to see you through. Once you have got your head straight you can decide if the relationship is one you want to continue with or not.

Good luck

Dave