KaJols
27th April 2004, 12:00 AM
I have been batteling my fiance for the past year and a half with drugs.
We have a 4 year old son and ever since we've been together he's smoked pot which is something I don't like but have tolerated. Just this past year and a half recently he's gotten into speed. His brother is the influence. He's done it for years.
We have HUGE financial problems. He's always buying something. Can't save and we never have enough for bills. My car is about to be impounded as I type. I make more money than him. I was driving 2 hours back and forth to work every day because I had a good job where we use to live. He wanted to move back to his home town close to his parents last year so we moved and I commuted. I just recently gave up an AWESOME job to work closer to home to have more time with my son. I had to take a pay cut.
My mother is the one who first brought the speed problem to my attention. I guess I knew but didn't want to admit it. Since then (that was about March of last year) I've been finding it here and there. In Nov. I found it in my car and threatened to leave. He didn't stop. I found little things here and there but never anything major but knew he was still doing it. The real kicker came when about a month ago I was taking my son to a birthday party and it I found a full bag in my car in plain view. He tried to tell me it was for a friend. I went to his parents for help. They offered for me and my son to move in with them. Bobby stopped me again from leaving.
This past weekend I found an empty wrapping from a cigarette box with tracings of speed. He tried to tell me it was the white THC from pot and that you couldn't put speed in that kind of wrapping. I tasted it and it was speed. I'm not stupid.
I finally kicked him out. He's moving in with his brother. I'm pushing him right into where he can easily access the drugs now. I love him but I can't take the drugs anymore. I can't marry someone like that. What do I do? We don't have money for counseling or rehab. We don't even have the money for us to live in separate households. His parents said they'd help with the rehab, should I ask for help with counceling? He wants to make our family work but doesn't if that makes sense. He is still in denial that it's not a problem though. He only does it once a month is what he says and he can stop. I don't believe it.
Do I sit back and watch. This was not the image I had for my life and family. I am such a mess right now. I just need someone to talk too. I can't confront my friends because they are all fed up with me for taking his crap for so long and seeing me suffer financially. It's so hard not having him there but I know I need to do this. I need someone to talk too. I need advise on how to get through this and confront him with solutions on how to help him if he wants it. I know he needs to help himself but I want to offer suggestions.
We have a 4 year old son and ever since we've been together he's smoked pot which is something I don't like but have tolerated. Just this past year and a half recently he's gotten into speed. His brother is the influence. He's done it for years.
We have HUGE financial problems. He's always buying something. Can't save and we never have enough for bills. My car is about to be impounded as I type. I make more money than him. I was driving 2 hours back and forth to work every day because I had a good job where we use to live. He wanted to move back to his home town close to his parents last year so we moved and I commuted. I just recently gave up an AWESOME job to work closer to home to have more time with my son. I had to take a pay cut.
My mother is the one who first brought the speed problem to my attention. I guess I knew but didn't want to admit it. Since then (that was about March of last year) I've been finding it here and there. In Nov. I found it in my car and threatened to leave. He didn't stop. I found little things here and there but never anything major but knew he was still doing it. The real kicker came when about a month ago I was taking my son to a birthday party and it I found a full bag in my car in plain view. He tried to tell me it was for a friend. I went to his parents for help. They offered for me and my son to move in with them. Bobby stopped me again from leaving.
This past weekend I found an empty wrapping from a cigarette box with tracings of speed. He tried to tell me it was the white THC from pot and that you couldn't put speed in that kind of wrapping. I tasted it and it was speed. I'm not stupid.
I finally kicked him out. He's moving in with his brother. I'm pushing him right into where he can easily access the drugs now. I love him but I can't take the drugs anymore. I can't marry someone like that. What do I do? We don't have money for counseling or rehab. We don't even have the money for us to live in separate households. His parents said they'd help with the rehab, should I ask for help with counceling? He wants to make our family work but doesn't if that makes sense. He is still in denial that it's not a problem though. He only does it once a month is what he says and he can stop. I don't believe it.
Do I sit back and watch. This was not the image I had for my life and family. I am such a mess right now. I just need someone to talk too. I can't confront my friends because they are all fed up with me for taking his crap for so long and seeing me suffer financially. It's so hard not having him there but I know I need to do this. I need someone to talk too. I need advise on how to get through this and confront him with solutions on how to help him if he wants it. I know he needs to help himself but I want to offer suggestions.