in love w/ my husbands friend

[sad]

okay, i know my title is horrible. but i really need some advice. i have been married for four years and we do not have any children. i have been miserable through the entire marriage b/c i feel that something is missing. most of the time we barely talk, i have friends that are married and i hang out with them alot b/c my husband would rather sit on the couch and do nothing. we decided about a year ago to relocate b/c we live in a small town with nothing for us to do. we both thought that it would make our relationship better. now, im not so sure. my husband is a very nice guy, he is good to me, and loves me alot. but no matter how nice he is, i feel that something is missing. okay, now the bad part: one night i was out with my old roommate and her brother (my husbands friend) anyway, i will call him ray. ray tells me that he needs to talk to me. he proceeds to tell me that for several years he has felt connected to me and that every girl he goes out with he compares her to me. anyway, one thing led to another and we kissed. okay, now flash forward to a few months later. im out again with out my husband, ray is there. and we are dancing and things are getting pretty hot and heavy so we go and get a room..... we all know what happens next. anyway, for the past few months i have tried leaving my husband b/c i feel so guilty that i betrayed him. i cant tell him the truth b/c it would break his heart. i want out of our marriage and everytime i try to tell him this, i give up b/c the guilt of ray is in the back of my mind. i do believe that ray is my soul mate. when he walks in the room my heart aches. when im laying in his arms, for the first time in my life i feel like i am home. i can be myself around him. and i love that. i know that it will never be though, b/c how could we hurt my husband with that. how? regardless if i end up with ray or not, i still need to leave my husband. how can i make him understand that we are nothing alike, something is missing, and i want a divorce. i know that i do want to be alone for awhile before i go after the man of my dreams. please help me figure this mess out. for now, i have told ray that i cant talk or see him anymore, he agreeded... he said it is hard for him to see me and my husband together.

[David Harris]

You need to start talking to your husband more. It takes two to make a conversation so you should put more effort into sharing your husband's interests. If he is a very nice guy your marriage will improve once you talk more. You're right not to see the other man - put him out of your mind and see how you get on with your hubby.

[Fletch]

I agree with David. What was it that made you fall in love with your husband? Open the lines of communication and rediscover those things again, rekindle your love and see if it doesn't bring you closer together.