Hanu
2nd March 2004, 05:52 AM
About 1 year ago my wife came to me with something that shes wanted to do for a long time. Sleep with another woman. At first I was extremly excited by the whole ordeal, being married for 11 years sex gets kind of staleafter a while. But I wasnt sure of her true intentions. This all started out as just a curiosity on her end and its ending up as something more than it was supposed to be.
We had lengthy discussions about the aftermath of her doing this, like how would she feel about this person? Or would she leave our family? She assured me that it was just something she wanted to try for curiosity sake.
She became good friends with a neighbor lady, whos married and has a family as well. The two of them became involved in many municipal activites such as Parent Student Organization, Emergency Management Organization, Volunteer Ambulance Service. She seemed to spend more and more time away from home doing these extra activities most of which included the neighbor lady. One specific activity was the EMO, my wife and neighbor were the two responsible for this town in case an emergency happened. They both spent alot of time going to seminars for educational purposes and alot of time together.
Once a year in a large town nearby there is a state wide seminar, this is where it happened.
My wife told me her and the neighbor(Kirsty) got a little physical with each other. Kissing alot and fondling each others upper parts. She was very specfic that it went no further than the above mentioned.
At first I didnt know what to think,that she actually went thru this and it wasnt just a fantasy of hers. It took me a while to accept what had transpired but after a while it was just a memory.
That would have been all fine and good if that was all but it wasnt. Weve been having arguements for the past year about how much time is being spent with Kirsty, not to mention that Kirsty will call here 3 times a day along with numerous e-mails during the day as well. This has been going on for about a year now. My wife would get very upset if she found out I had went into her e-mail or was too close to her phone conversation with Kirsty. Well of course this all made me very susicious. She assured me that Kirsty was just a very good friend , her best friend. After convincing her to leave her e-mails untouched so if I felt suspicious and read a few, it would ease my mind that nothing was going on. She agreed. So she left her e-mails or come to find out just certain e-mails that had no showing of a relationship. I started checking her e-mail from a remote computer to find that out and also installed a keystroke logger into her computer.
She was hiding conversations from me. Those conversations included phrases that I found flirty. Nothing to suggest that a physical relationship was going on but there is a definate emotional relationship going on that she was hiding from me.
After confronting her about we argued for many days and things arent going that well. She told me that her love for me wasn't there anymore and hasnt been for many years. Ever since I discovered those e-mails I dont trust her around Kirsty anymore.
She says shes not going to give up her relationship with Kirsty but she will and tone it down. She did realize that keeping this from me was wrong and that she was sorry.
I dont know what to do about this whole thing
Should I ask her not to be involved with Kirsty anymore?
Maybe give up some of those activities that involve Kirsty?
Should I go confront Kirsty and let her know that I know?
Or maybe talk to Kirsty husband about this whole mess?
Am I just blowing this whole thing out of proportion?
Being married for almost 12 years I really dont want to give up on the whole thing, we also have two children as well.
We had lengthy discussions about the aftermath of her doing this, like how would she feel about this person? Or would she leave our family? She assured me that it was just something she wanted to try for curiosity sake.
She became good friends with a neighbor lady, whos married and has a family as well. The two of them became involved in many municipal activites such as Parent Student Organization, Emergency Management Organization, Volunteer Ambulance Service. She seemed to spend more and more time away from home doing these extra activities most of which included the neighbor lady. One specific activity was the EMO, my wife and neighbor were the two responsible for this town in case an emergency happened. They both spent alot of time going to seminars for educational purposes and alot of time together.
Once a year in a large town nearby there is a state wide seminar, this is where it happened.
My wife told me her and the neighbor(Kirsty) got a little physical with each other. Kissing alot and fondling each others upper parts. She was very specfic that it went no further than the above mentioned.
At first I didnt know what to think,that she actually went thru this and it wasnt just a fantasy of hers. It took me a while to accept what had transpired but after a while it was just a memory.
That would have been all fine and good if that was all but it wasnt. Weve been having arguements for the past year about how much time is being spent with Kirsty, not to mention that Kirsty will call here 3 times a day along with numerous e-mails during the day as well. This has been going on for about a year now. My wife would get very upset if she found out I had went into her e-mail or was too close to her phone conversation with Kirsty. Well of course this all made me very susicious. She assured me that Kirsty was just a very good friend , her best friend. After convincing her to leave her e-mails untouched so if I felt suspicious and read a few, it would ease my mind that nothing was going on. She agreed. So she left her e-mails or come to find out just certain e-mails that had no showing of a relationship. I started checking her e-mail from a remote computer to find that out and also installed a keystroke logger into her computer.
She was hiding conversations from me. Those conversations included phrases that I found flirty. Nothing to suggest that a physical relationship was going on but there is a definate emotional relationship going on that she was hiding from me.
After confronting her about we argued for many days and things arent going that well. She told me that her love for me wasn't there anymore and hasnt been for many years. Ever since I discovered those e-mails I dont trust her around Kirsty anymore.
She says shes not going to give up her relationship with Kirsty but she will and tone it down. She did realize that keeping this from me was wrong and that she was sorry.
I dont know what to do about this whole thing
Should I ask her not to be involved with Kirsty anymore?
Maybe give up some of those activities that involve Kirsty?
Should I go confront Kirsty and let her know that I know?
Or maybe talk to Kirsty husband about this whole mess?
Am I just blowing this whole thing out of proportion?
Being married for almost 12 years I really dont want to give up on the whole thing, we also have two children as well.