Does counselling work?

[Unregistered]

Hi

I know this varies from case to case, but my wife and I are booked onto a course with RELATE. She says the only reason she is going is to give me closure on our marriage rather than try to work it out. Is it still worth going do you think? Can counsellors change peoples way of thinking into trying to give it a another go?

[Liz]

Hi there,

Our understanding is that counsellors are not in the business of trying to persuade couples to any particular course of action. They are there to enable you to talk things through and find your own solution.

It is not good if your wife is only going to find a tidy way to end your marriage, but then sometimes in the course of the counselling process some people realise they don't want things to end. Your wife may be afraid that the counselling process will challenge her. You also may learn soemthign about how your wife sees your marriage which may offer you opportunities and hope to reach out to her.

Michele Weiner-Davis's book Divorce Remedy (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/books/divorceremedy/) has been highly recommended to us. You might take a look at the review to see if it is worth you buying.

I hope that you can find some way to reach your wife over the next few weeks as you obviously wnat to make things work.

With best wishes

Liz