can't get message through

[me again]

I met my husband 12 1/2 years ago I was 18 years old. He was a bit of a lad but being a dizzy teenager enjoyed all that. We have been married since september 2000, but this is when it all started to go pear shaped. Hes always been a drinker, but last year was one of the worst ever, my birthday january had him arrested for assault, forgave him, he got into a fight and nearly ended up in jail, forgave him, he got drunk and broke his foot 7 months off work, forgave him then he got his final ultimatum, but he messed up again , now he won't let go, obviously these are the bigger issues listed but every few weeks smaller things would crop up. I cannot go on like this and really need to break free from this relationship. He never contributes to anything he thinks going to work to earn the money is where his responsibility ends, I've practically been on my own for the past 3 years anyway, but now he's promising the world, if I give him another chance, how many chances do I give him, it hurts me so much when he keeps letting me down again and again I'm not sure I can go through it again, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanksxxx :confused:

[Kate]

Having an addictive husband (or wife) can be really difficult. When the addict is in a good place they can promise so much and mean it, but when the drink takes hold all that goes "out the window".

Have you sought advice from a support group. If you are UK based you can look here (http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/). If not you can find one for your own country here (http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/alalist_world.html).

You might also like to look at the article here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/marfirstaid/index4.html).

You can't sort this man's problems out on your own. Please seek some professional support.

Kate

[me again]

Kate thank you for replying. He went to aa for about 3 months but then fell off the wagon. He was very tempremental without a drink and thought he could handle just a couple but obviously one leads to another & so on. So then he went to counselling which he still does but he is lying about his drinking, although he hasn't had one for two weeks( this is when I told him his chances had run out) he says he'll never touch another drop if I stay in the marriage. He does really love me and is so sincere when he makes all these promises, but he's never kept a promise yet, so in my heart of hearts I really can't believe that this time will be any different, he might last a bit longer but eventually he'll get complacent he is who he is and I feel that nothing I or anybody else says can change him. I feel really selfish but I feel I've grown out of him (if that makes sense) and I'm so tired and worn out from the arguments,mood swings, aggresiveness and lack of motivation. Sorry if I sound really hard,I've just reached the end of my tether! Thanks againxxx:(