will he ever be back

[lostnwonderland]

I am a 39 year old women who has been with a man over the past 5 1/2 years. He is 11 years my junior. This past week he decided that he needed time away from me to figure out his feelings and if he still wants to be with me. He has a 10yr old son that lives 800 miles away. His ex wants him to be with her and their son. He lied to me and told me he was going to his sisters but his sister called and of course he was not there. He has gone to be near his son..so he says. I know that his ex wants him back. He has told me that he needs at least two weeks to figure out things. I told him that I would give him the two weeks. I just don't know if he is being honest with me. He says that he is not sleeping with her but even so. Can he truly be objective about our relationship if he is so close to her. We have been talking on the phone everyday and he still doesn't know whether or not he will come back to me. My problem is that if he decides to come home can I trust him again not to lie to me. I suspected something because his ex would constantly call, e-mail or text him. He kept telling me he was talking to his son. I am just so miserable over the whole thing because not only has he gone and left me but we have also lost everything we own over the last 4 months. I truly love this man with all my heart and soul. We were good together. I just can't seem to get past this and would like some advice if anyone has any. All my friends tell me just to let him go but I can't seem to. I also have a 16yr old son who thinks of him as his dad and also wants him home. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Unregistered]

Sounds like you are in a no win situation at the moment. I think that what you need to do is to take a step back and let him figure out what is going on in his head (not easy but really needs to be done). Far better to do this and then see if he is ready to come back than for him to feel pressured into being back with you and then this scenario to happen again.

Must be awful for your 16 year old as well and I dont think it will be easy for you to accept its over at the moment, always very hard when someone you loves does something like this.

If you would like to chat more please take a look at this site:-

http://s3.invisionfree.com/MumstheWord

Take Care

Raven x

[Fletch]

I dated my wife for 5 years before marrying her. We were married just over a year when I went away to San Antonio for a business trip. On the day of my return, she called me to tell me she was flying up to Portland to be with her father as he was very ill. I told her to go and be with him, that is was very important.

Two days later she called to tell me she wasn't in love with me anymore.

I did some sluething and discovered she had had an internet affair. Now she is convinced that this mirage is for real and he is the man who can maker her happy.

It has been hell for the last week since but with each day it gets slightly more easy.

I've told her that there is nothing she could do that I have not already forgiven her for and that I would be here when she is finished searching for happiness in empty places.

As much as I want to communicate with her, she needs to discover what its like to not have access to me. As much as I want to hear her soft voice again, I cannot allow myself to call. Its one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do but I know that it needs to be done.

My point is, that if he truly loves you, he will return. Believe me, I know how desperately this hurts, I'm going through it right now as well.