Unregistered
25th January 2004, 06:28 AM
My husband and I have been married for almost 21 years and together for 25. Many years ago we had some problems in our marriage and both (at different times and under different circumstances) had strayed. However, we got passed it and were fairly happy. That is, until about a year or so ago. After I had my second child 6 years ago I gained quite a bit of weight and decided to stay home with the children. My husband didn't really care much for the idea and wants me to work. Also, with the weight gain I found myself wanting sex less frequently and turning him away.
Over this past year things have gotten worse in our marriage. My husband has become very distant and barely acknowledges my presence when he comes home from work. Go goes directly to the basement to his Playstation and is on it all night. He spends very little time with the children and shows little patience with them or me anymore. He has become obsessive about his looks and has lost quite a bit of weight over this past year. He has also become interested in new and different things. After being a Catholic all his life he is talking about changing his religion, he has taken up meditation etc. He tells me that he doesn't understand what he is feeling or why he feels differently now. I have had a feeling that he has been cheating on me, but can't prove it. When I ask him, he denies it, but my gut tells me he is lying. Then about two weeks ago he came out and told me not only about all of the things he dislikes about me, but that he isn't attracted to me anymore because of the weight and that he has only had sex with me because he thought I wanted to, but he "didn't get anything out of it". I have felt sick ever since. While in that discussion we got a few things out into the open and he acts a little better on and off, it's like an emotional roller coaster for me and I am not sure what to do. Every time he goes out I wonder if he is meeting with someone. Every time he is on the phone I wonder who he is speaking with in low tones. It is hard having sex with him now knowing how he feels and wondering if he had been cheating and will give me some disease. While he told me that he would go to couseling with me, I find that he has been avoiding making a firm committment on the appointment date.
I know my problem doesn't seem as earth shattering as most of the people on this site, but it is for me. My husband used to be a nice, caring and loving man and now he is none of those things. I just want the man I married back and I don't want to feel sick to my stomach anymore. Do you think that is possible?
Over this past year things have gotten worse in our marriage. My husband has become very distant and barely acknowledges my presence when he comes home from work. Go goes directly to the basement to his Playstation and is on it all night. He spends very little time with the children and shows little patience with them or me anymore. He has become obsessive about his looks and has lost quite a bit of weight over this past year. He has also become interested in new and different things. After being a Catholic all his life he is talking about changing his religion, he has taken up meditation etc. He tells me that he doesn't understand what he is feeling or why he feels differently now. I have had a feeling that he has been cheating on me, but can't prove it. When I ask him, he denies it, but my gut tells me he is lying. Then about two weeks ago he came out and told me not only about all of the things he dislikes about me, but that he isn't attracted to me anymore because of the weight and that he has only had sex with me because he thought I wanted to, but he "didn't get anything out of it". I have felt sick ever since. While in that discussion we got a few things out into the open and he acts a little better on and off, it's like an emotional roller coaster for me and I am not sure what to do. Every time he goes out I wonder if he is meeting with someone. Every time he is on the phone I wonder who he is speaking with in low tones. It is hard having sex with him now knowing how he feels and wondering if he had been cheating and will give me some disease. While he told me that he would go to couseling with me, I find that he has been avoiding making a firm committment on the appointment date.
I know my problem doesn't seem as earth shattering as most of the people on this site, but it is for me. My husband used to be a nice, caring and loving man and now he is none of those things. I just want the man I married back and I don't want to feel sick to my stomach anymore. Do you think that is possible?