Old Affair - New Pain

[Unregistered]

Married 20 years
wife had 3 nights of intmacy with boss 18 years ago
a kiss a year later at same out of town week business meeting
remaind at work for 9 years
live next door
found out 1 year ago
total pain

[Unregistered]

The shock of betrayal, the disbelief, the pain. My whole world fell apart. It's like I was in a dream that I hoped I would wake up from. Even after eight years I can't believe it ever happened in one sense.

He only kept it from me for a few days and then came to me heartbroken to ask for forgiveness. I agreed but it took a long time before the pain dulled and I could really let go on the desire to go on about it and rub his nose in it.

Making love was one of the worst things - it reminded me of what had happened and seemed there was more than two of us there all the time.

I had to decide every time it raised it's ugly head to set it aside, and not to punish him for what had happened, but to show him love.

I cried a lot and felt afraid when he went away alone on business. I tried to put onto paper what was going on in my head and that helped. Also helped that I found soemone I could trust to talk to who kept it to themselves.

It did pass because I made up my mind that our marriage was more important than the mistake that had been made and I was going to fight anything that pulled us apart.

It must be hard that it's someone you know and could see every day. I didn't have that.

They say, one day at a time...