trust and sex

[Unregistered]

My husband and I have been married for several years. I was a very jelous person when I married him but I learned to tone it down and be more trusting. Right now I just don't know what is going on. If it's me or him or both. He has been working a lot and I feel as though he doesn't care sometimes. We do have sex a lot but I'm feeling as if I've been throwing myself at him. I think I might be addicted to sex - just for a quick fix to be closer to him or to have him pay attention to me. It's gotten bad because I get jelous now if I find out that he has looked at women in pictures not wearing much or no clothes. I think that's what he wants instead of me. I just don't know what to do sometimes I wonder if he's having an affair. But I don't want to come out and ask him that. What do I do now? I suggested maybe marriage counseling but he thinks it's a joke. How do I get him to take me seriously and how can I quit throwing myself at him??? I also worry that if a guy came along that payed more attention to me than him would I cheat? I don't think I would but it scares me. What should I do?

[Unregistered]

I can understand your situation, am married for 7 years and known each other for 13 yearsMy wife says I am very jealous and possesive. I worry a lot when she gets very close male friends. I tried to help her and myself out by letting her have male friends as long as she did not hide anything from me.

The other day she was upstairs too long and I brought her some tea, she was writing something and shocked to see me, and I knew she was up to something.She said there was nothing, then she lied she said she was writing me a Valentines card although it was only 17th of January.She lashed out at me for being so jealous. The next day I was looking for the paper in the bedroom, which I found she was wring a poem to a colleague at work,who is a friend. When I confronted she asid it was a JOKE and i was blowing things out of prop.When asked why she lied, answer was she knows how jealous I can be thats why she hid it from me.

Now I worry how many things has she hidden from me, or is it me just being paranoid.We love each other a lot, but now I dont feel the same.I

I would rather live on my own than live with someone who lies.

[Kate]

Hi there,

Just wanted to point each of you to resources on the site.

For the trust issue, you might like to look at the article here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/relbasictopic/trust/).

For the issue of differing sexual appetites you might find some of the articles here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffsex/) helpful.

Jealousy is a funny issue. We can feel jealous when we are insecure ourselves, perhaps because we don't believe that we are loveable or because someone has let us down and hurt us in the past. On the other hand jealousy can arise because our loved one is behaving strangely or not demonstrating his or her loving care and consideration enough or in a way which we can understand.

Hope the articles help.

Kate