Unregistered
8th January 2004, 02:30 AM
I have a disaster story. If I haven't lived it for seven years, I wouldn't believe it myself.
In '97 I met a woman at work. Young (22), very attractive (turn your head type). I was 27, married with a young daughter.
She immediately came on to me. Lots of flirting, lots of attention. She asked me to lunch. I accepted. She started slowly to hint at sleeping with me. She excited me and I became addicted to being around her in a pretty short period of time. This exciting stage lasted about a month. She pushed all the right buttons and eventually, I gave into temptation and made the biggest mistake of my life.
I justified it in my head. My wife had had an affair when we were engaged and again shortly after we were married. All had been forgiven, but I reasoned that I would not be unjustified to do it myself. In addition, I truely feared at the time that she was seeing the same guy again. I was wrong on both counts.
Gradually the relationship with the new woman became a nightmare. She was controlling and verbally abusive. I had to learn rules of dating her and dealing with her. Calls had to be made. I had to see her at certain times. I had to sleep with her and do things I wasn't comfortable with. She continually asked me to leave my family and I held up for six years telling her that I couldn't because of my kids. At times she either hinted or downright threatened to hurt my wife, burn my house down or at the very least expose our affair to the world and ruin me. Her temper and the extent to which she lost her temper never made me doubt any of these threats.
To make things even more unbearable, she told her daughter that I was going to be her father and used it against me if she doubted my love on the basis of me not leaving because of my kids. She grew grotesque in appearance and stopped taking care of herself at all. She insisted that she aborted my child (even though she made me sleep with her the morning after a supposed back alley abortion). We used protection at all times when that supposedly happened and I'll never believe that it really did. She refuses to this day to tell me the name of the doctor or where it was done and at the time she refused to let me go with her (she was protecting me, yeah right).
I tried countless times to end the relationship, knowing that she was going to have to be the one to actually leave me. I treated her like ****, ignored her and did everything I could think of to get her to hate me. time and time again, she went crazy and got to the point where she threatened me or my family and I gave in apologized and we were back together. I was stuck. If I told her it was over, her logic said I never loved her and lied to her and therefore she had a right to destroy me. If I let her go, I must've never loved her and therefore she had a right to destory me.
About a year ago, she finally got to the point that if I didn't leave one of the above was going to happen. I figured that while I never led her on to believe I was going to leave for six years that maybe that was what I needed to do in order to get her away from me. If she truely believed that I tried to leave and be with her, but it didn't work because I was going to lose my kids, then maybe she'd walk away. She gave me a year to work it out. That year came and went in May and she has kept extending it (with many drawn out fights) since May. She has decided this is the last straw. If I don't leave now, I'm doomed. She suspects that I'm lying and she wants proof that all the conversations that I've had over the last year are true (she thinks my marriage is over and has been for years, that my wife threatens to take the kids, quit her job and tell the kids that I'v abandoned them. she thinks my daughter is in therapy because of the whole mess and that I can't leave because her mental state is at risk).
My marriage is a wonderful thing. I cry myself to sleep when my wife works nights because of what I have done. I never realized how lucky I was to have her until I got involved with the other. We have two wonderful children who think our family is the greates thing ever. We have a great life. My wife and I are closer than we've ever been, but I have this horrible secret that I can't get rid of. Unfortunately, my wife also suspects that something is going on. If she knew that this was happening for seven years, I have no doubt she would leave and take the kids with her. I would be devasted and lose the respect of everyone I know. My family would be torn apart and I would have nothing. I couldn't go on.
I need help.....I need someone to convince this woman that the lies I've told her are true so she doesn't hurt my family.
I know this is a long painful story hung out to a million strangers. If there's a woman out there who could possibly find it in their heart to help me I would do just about anything. I need somone to play my wife and convince this woman that what I've told her is true. Maybe she'll believe it and walk away. I truely do not know what else to do...I am very desperate....
in ohio
In '97 I met a woman at work. Young (22), very attractive (turn your head type). I was 27, married with a young daughter.
She immediately came on to me. Lots of flirting, lots of attention. She asked me to lunch. I accepted. She started slowly to hint at sleeping with me. She excited me and I became addicted to being around her in a pretty short period of time. This exciting stage lasted about a month. She pushed all the right buttons and eventually, I gave into temptation and made the biggest mistake of my life.
I justified it in my head. My wife had had an affair when we were engaged and again shortly after we were married. All had been forgiven, but I reasoned that I would not be unjustified to do it myself. In addition, I truely feared at the time that she was seeing the same guy again. I was wrong on both counts.
Gradually the relationship with the new woman became a nightmare. She was controlling and verbally abusive. I had to learn rules of dating her and dealing with her. Calls had to be made. I had to see her at certain times. I had to sleep with her and do things I wasn't comfortable with. She continually asked me to leave my family and I held up for six years telling her that I couldn't because of my kids. At times she either hinted or downright threatened to hurt my wife, burn my house down or at the very least expose our affair to the world and ruin me. Her temper and the extent to which she lost her temper never made me doubt any of these threats.
To make things even more unbearable, she told her daughter that I was going to be her father and used it against me if she doubted my love on the basis of me not leaving because of my kids. She grew grotesque in appearance and stopped taking care of herself at all. She insisted that she aborted my child (even though she made me sleep with her the morning after a supposed back alley abortion). We used protection at all times when that supposedly happened and I'll never believe that it really did. She refuses to this day to tell me the name of the doctor or where it was done and at the time she refused to let me go with her (she was protecting me, yeah right).
I tried countless times to end the relationship, knowing that she was going to have to be the one to actually leave me. I treated her like ****, ignored her and did everything I could think of to get her to hate me. time and time again, she went crazy and got to the point where she threatened me or my family and I gave in apologized and we were back together. I was stuck. If I told her it was over, her logic said I never loved her and lied to her and therefore she had a right to destroy me. If I let her go, I must've never loved her and therefore she had a right to destory me.
About a year ago, she finally got to the point that if I didn't leave one of the above was going to happen. I figured that while I never led her on to believe I was going to leave for six years that maybe that was what I needed to do in order to get her away from me. If she truely believed that I tried to leave and be with her, but it didn't work because I was going to lose my kids, then maybe she'd walk away. She gave me a year to work it out. That year came and went in May and she has kept extending it (with many drawn out fights) since May. She has decided this is the last straw. If I don't leave now, I'm doomed. She suspects that I'm lying and she wants proof that all the conversations that I've had over the last year are true (she thinks my marriage is over and has been for years, that my wife threatens to take the kids, quit her job and tell the kids that I'v abandoned them. she thinks my daughter is in therapy because of the whole mess and that I can't leave because her mental state is at risk).
My marriage is a wonderful thing. I cry myself to sleep when my wife works nights because of what I have done. I never realized how lucky I was to have her until I got involved with the other. We have two wonderful children who think our family is the greates thing ever. We have a great life. My wife and I are closer than we've ever been, but I have this horrible secret that I can't get rid of. Unfortunately, my wife also suspects that something is going on. If she knew that this was happening for seven years, I have no doubt she would leave and take the kids with her. I would be devasted and lose the respect of everyone I know. My family would be torn apart and I would have nothing. I couldn't go on.
I need help.....I need someone to convince this woman that the lies I've told her are true so she doesn't hurt my family.
I know this is a long painful story hung out to a million strangers. If there's a woman out there who could possibly find it in their heart to help me I would do just about anything. I need somone to play my wife and convince this woman that what I've told her is true. Maybe she'll believe it and walk away. I truely do not know what else to do...I am very desperate....
in ohio