trust

[wishfull thinker]

Hay guys im new here, but im in need of some help.
basically my wife has a problem with telling the truth, it only happens when concerning money issuse,stuff like bills going unpaid ,new clothes and belongings arriving at the house, i dont know anything about this because im a truck driver and am away for some of the week.
lately important post dissapears and ive been threatened with creditors taking my belongings.
all of this is traced back to my wife ,she has even stollen my cards she was so desperate.
i love her very very much but we argue so much now its killing what we have, i always bring up the past with her and tell her she is untrustworthy but in more colourful language.
Deep down i want this to work she is my first and only true love and that says something about me when ive just turned 30.
I know deep down she feels the same ,i can tell when she holds me its like she holds so tight.
We seem to argue every friday when i get home.
I know im not perfect i have my own problems one of which is feeling very insecure about us.
i wont ever leave her we have gone through so much together in a short space of time.


:confused:

[Kate]

Hi there,

You seem to have put your finger on a few things that you could do to help the situation. You can't change your wife, but you can create an atmosphere where she can face her problems and choose to change.

Why not have a look at some of the articles about anger (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/relbasictopic/anger/), conflict (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/relbasictopic/fightwork/) and forgiveness (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/relbasictopic/forgive/) see if you can find ways to respond calmly to her. She may well know she has a problem but feel very isolated out of the shame of it. Learning to trust again (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/relbasictopic/trust/) will take time, but first you've got to get those communication channels open and some comfort flowing to her.

When you can talk calmly about the money sitaution you could have a look at an article on this subject here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffpressures/moneymakes/). If you look in the same section (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffpressures/) on the site. and scroll down you'll fidn soem articles and books on the subject too.

Cheers

Kate