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View Full Version : my wife cant get over her past


Unregistered
25th November 2003, 01:30 AM
how can me my wife and i get past all the hurt that she suffered thru her pst relationships.i feel as i have to pay for everybody elses mistakes.she always takes out her anger out on me and not the people who have hurt her.she always has an excuse for everything but i cant have any at all.i went looking for attention else where simply because i was getting none at home.the only time when she would be happy was when i took her to the store to buy stuff.in the walmart she would tell me how much she loved me,but as soon as we left the store and got home she would get irratated over nothing.i am not perfect by any means but i do love her.

Kate
2nd December 2003, 10:39 AM
Hi there,

Have you looked at our Marital First Aid kit (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/marfirstaid/). I wonder if the symptom about non violent raging behaviour might have some ideas to help you ( see left hand list of symptoms).

When someone has been hurt in the past it needs a lot of patience and perseverance to reassure them that you love them and that they don't need to manipulate you into showing that love in some particular way. The more thye manipulate, the harder it is for you to believe that thye really care for you.

Are there any other ways that your wife experiences being loved? You might like to have a look at Gary Chapman's book (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/books/fivelovelang/) on this subject. You could talk about the ways that you each experience love and see if you can find ways to support each other in that way.

All the best

Kate