Advice for soemone getting engaged

[Unregistered]

Our son has just got engaged. We feel really excited for him and his fiancée, but also awed by what they are taking on. What advice would you give a young couple starting out on their married life?

What has been the key for you in finding happiness and stability together? What are the really good things about your marriage? What mistakes have you learnt from and would want others to avoid? What would you do differently? What do you wish someone had said to you before you got married? Do you think you would have listened?

[Unregistered]

If he owns anything and doesn't want to lose it then the only advise I would give him is browse this site for a few hours

http://www.ondivorce.co.uk/

[Sophie]

I would say to someone getting married that even the happiest marriages go through miserable times.

My grandparents were so in love, and were married for 65 years. Even at ninety they would have a kiss and a cuddle. But by their own admission they went through 4 years of misery during their marriage where they didn't get along at all, if it had happened now they may have got divorced but they didn't - and 4 bad years out of 65 is nothing really - they can laugh at it now. I would say to your son, be prepared to have a few awful times but lots of brilliant times, and never go to sleep on a row.

[Dave]

My advice would be to "get serious about marriage preparation"!

When people get engaged they are full of love and attraction for each other - it can be very difficult to even broach some of the tougher questions that will affect the rest of their lives.

Why not buy them the "Gift of Marriage Preparation" (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/mpvoucher1.html) - it's the best gift you could possibly buy any couple thinking of marrying.

Cheers

Dave

[completelygutted]

Hi,

I would tell your son and future daughter in law that what they are doing is a HUGE commitment and there will be bad times. They must try and get through those bad times together. They must be aware that the vows they are taking mean they are saying to each other that if the hit an obstacle they will try their best to get around it, not to give up and walk away.

If only my wife was given the same advice maybe I wouldn't be in the situation I am in now.

They have to be really serious about this and are making a commitment to each other to TRY. NOT TO WALK AWAY WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH.

Wishing your son and his fiance all the happiness they could ever wish for.

Andy

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[Ladyrider260]

How naughty, cashing in on a message board!

[Sierra]

Have a modest wedding and pour the rest that you could have spent into real estate of some sort - preferably a house. The accumulating wealth over the years will prevent a host of problems before they arise.

D

[Shasta]

You won't like this but I'd tell them run away. My family and friends got so involved in making plans that it started making me sick to think about it. My husband and I just left one morning at 3:00 on a whim for the beach. I got married in a white sun dress with wildflowers in my hair, barefoot on the beach. Hired a photographer all at a grand total cost of $200. Spent the rest on my wedding fund on my honeymoon, laying on the beach in my honey's arms. Everybody was upset with us at first but we brought them souviners and hundreds of pictures. Now everyone envies my perfect stressfree wedding. Two of my friends are planning to have a wedding like mine and ask my advice. I just tell them you can't plan it;) Just leave in the middle of the night. Parents don't like this but it really was the happiest day of my life (no stress) It's a risk though we happened to be able to get our licence(it almost didn't happen) Found a sundress style wedding dress ($13) on sale, had cloudless 80 degree weather (in nov in north carolina). It would be an act of God for it to fall into place twice like it did. We joke that thats how we KNOW our marriage was God's idea and not just ours:)