11th July 2001, 01:16 PM
My husband had a lengthy affair woth a co-worker. She praised him and I did not. In fact she did everything better. She cleaned her house better, worked long days, had nicer things, took more pride, a military woman, gave him what he had been longing for sexually, mother of two and in a bad marriage to a husband who didn't care for her. They had everything in common, like exactly the same things, talked endlessly, they were in love. We have 3 boys she has 2 girls with whom she introduced my husband to within weeks. I had been staying home with the boys every day and night for four months and had been given a lot of thought to letting him take over. And that is what I did. I had a day with the boys and told them that daddy was going to take care of them. That next day I left. I moved in with a friend and her husband. A month and a half later I bought their place and they moved out. All this time my husband had been wishy washy about me. During this time I went to a bar for a birthday party that I was not going to attend and met a much younger man. Next day went out to dinner and I had an affair. It lasted 3 weeks. My husband wanted to try again. He knew of my affair and still wanted me. He came apologizing and offerings of love to me. I rejected him and was angry at his attempts of apology. We moved back in together. He claimed to be over her but that was not true. They still managed to sneak away (even the day before his birthday). After I found that out I told him to leave, he left to tell her it was over. Now it has been almost a year and I cannot move on. I am still so angry. We have relocated to another state but 1,000 times a day, thoughts enter my mind. He said something that hurt about 3 weeks ago unrelated to the affair but I just can't find it in me to feel loving towards to him. He thinks that sex ia a fix all. I hurt and I am sad all the time, though I do not let him know. I know that is bad. I know that this is long and I apologize, just needed to vent.