libbielou
6th September 2003, 05:13 AM
my husband and i have been maried for 10 years and together for 17 we already had two children aged 14 and 17 when i found out i was pregnant again. everything was fine until i reached 5 months pregnant. he started going out drinking in a different area to where we live this caused lots of rows and he left. he was there with me when i gave birth to out daughter and i believed everything would be ok. he didn't like the area that we lived in and wanted me to get a house and move to where he was. i agreed to do this as i wanted to keep my family together. he was staying at home with us on the odd night and things seemed ok. then one day after an argument i went to the flat he was living in and discovered a girl i knew was asleep on the sofa. she admitted to me that she had been living there with my husband, i told her that he had been staying at my house and she replied that she thought he had but didn't seem to bother her. as you can imagine i flipped out she is only 20 while he is 36 i was devastated, there has been so much arguing since then the doctor has put me on tablets. he wont agree to a divorce, he heard that i was seeing someone else which im not and went ballastic, he was seeing the children atmy house but this got to much, i explained that it was best for him to see the eldest girl away from the home. i also told him that as he only saw her one day a week for a couple of hours that he should devote this time to her alone and that my daughter didnt want to meet his girlfriend, my daughter loves her dad but finds it disgusting that his new woman is only five years older than her and 3 years older thn my son, he took he out the following sunday to the seaside and picked his girlfriend up on the way this left my daughter very upset but to scared to say anything in case it upset her dad. we had yet another huge row and he didnt see the kids for 3 weeks. although there had been a lot of rowing it was mostly done over the phone and through txts. last saturday he turned up outside my house and saw my daughter we spoke briefly and he asked to see the baby, i explained to him that she stays at his mothers on a saturday and off he went. he texted me later that night and i agreed to meet him. as we were sat in the car he kept asking if i loved him i refused to answer him and he kept telling me that he loved me and he would never love anyone like hes loved me, he told me that he missed the kids, he kept asking for a kiss which i refused, he seemed really low and he told me he wsnt happy. i left him that night and arranged for him to visit the baby at my home on the monday, he phoned me on the monday and explained that he had to go to work and that he would phone the next day to arrange a day to come. i texted him the following night just to ask what time he would be down he was txting me all that night while he was at work till i fell asleep at 5 o clock in the morning. he came down the following tea time, i know this sounds silly but ut had been 2 months since he last saw the baby and i just wanted him to see her and realise what he was missing, he was really hurt that she wouldnt go to him and that she started crying when he tried to get hold of her. i explained to him that she didnt know him, he stayed for an hour as he was on his way work, she said that he would call again over the weekend to see the kids but i told him we were at a wedding he asked where it was and said that he might come. i couldnt understand why he would say this as i knew he wouldnt and that it would only build the hopes up of my daughter as she thinks hell be there. i texted him that night talking about him seeing the baby, i went onto say that i couldnt understand how he could not want to be with her everyday how could he miss all the important things like her birthday christmas etc, he sent a text back saying "dont you think i know what im missing but what can i do about it" that was it then everything came out how hurt i was wanting answers to why he did it why he lied why it was just text after text by this time i was lay there with the baby sobbing i thought i had no more tears left in me. i told him if the marriage was over then he should give me a divorce which i know he wont do, he texted me back asking me to ring him but i explained to him that i couldnt i was to upset and that the things i wanted to say to him i couldnt do on a phone. the next day was his birthday i texted him wishing him well and i explained that i hoped what had happened the night before didnt interfer with him seeing the kids, i havent heard off him since, i dont know what to do about anything anymore he gives out different signals all the time, he telling my friends he loves me tells me he loves me but wont come home can someone please tell me what they think or what i should do i am so scared and so tired of it all.