need some advice

[angeleyes801]

i caught my husband having talking trash to other women online.
he also registered on dating services. i was so upset i confronted him and he said it would stop, but it didn't so one day i posed as someone else and im'd him and he started talking trash to me as this other person, i was devastated but i kept it in. i decided to tell him i did this and he was upset and said it had stopped and he was sorry but he was very defensive and said it wasn't the same as having a physical relationship with someone. will i be able to ever trust him again, what do we do? i do believe he loves me but i just can't get past this.

[Kate]

Hey Angeleyes

What a lovely handle!

Life sounds tough for you.

I'm afraid men and some women who go out on the net don't see the flirting etc as real. It's virtual to them - but that's just a cop out, because it hurts the one they are cheating on just as badly, doesn't it.

Why not have a look at the resources on internet infidelity (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/cyberaffair/).

There's also an article on rebuilding trust here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/infidelity/trust/). That requires forgiving him (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/relbasictopic/forgive/) and then rebuilding things based on openness, respect and accountability.

It is possible to get past this block, but you will both need to work at it.

All the best

Kate

[angeleyes]

thanks kate for your help. since my first post i have caught him at it again. i am devastated, i don't think we can survive this time. and two people can't resolve a problem if one is in constant denial. i'm not sure what i'll do but, cry a bit lick my wounds and go on but thanks for everything.
angeleyes