Communication Trouble

[Unregistered]

Hello, i'm looking for some advice. My wife and I are two different personality types, she is very outgoing and I am shy and have a difficult time communicating with her. Over the years (about 10 years) this has slowly caused trouble in our relationship, and has gotten to the point where it is a real problem now. Where can I seek help? What can I do to improve this situation? How can I repair the damage its done to us?

[Kate]

Hi there,

There are lots of resources about communication here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffcoomun/). Why not have a look and see what might help.
There is also a good service here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/pp/personprofile1.html), which helps you explore differences in your personality and approach. Another good thing to try is an enrichment programme like Marriage Encounter listed here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/healthclub/servprov/), and which focus on helping communication. Hope that gives you some ideas

Kate

[needsupport]

I can relate to your current situation. My husband and I have not been married for ten years, but four is quite some time to realize in the end that you and your partner have grown apart.

Did you not communicate well when you first fell in love? Remove all the surface problems and find out the reason you no longer associate the way you once did. It is like this for everyone, and I urge you to hang in there. You can reach each other again, but it will take some work on both of your parts.

Have you confronted her? Please do so before it goes too far, or before either one of you make irrational decisions. It hurts both of you if you build walls. You may be afraid of her reaction, and she may not be ready to hear what you have to say.

You may both want to begin new activities together; activities that will open up windows for wonderful conversation. Bring out old photos, take walks together. Go above and beyond what you think you need to do to make this work. You have put in far too much time and love to end this.

Most marriages are like this. Those who make it last are the people like you - the ones that recognize that marriage could be so much more. It's the couples we envy who once had the communication problem"......they just believed and put in 110%.

I hope the best for you and your wife.