I want more children

[Unregistered]

Hi, my name is Sherry, I am having really bad times with my husband at the moment. Its hard to know where to start, I suppose I should say we have a lovely 6 year old son and we have had 5 miscarriages. I have had tests for recurrent miscarriage and I have found out that I have a chromosome problem, I am completely healthy apart from when it comes to having children. The problem I have got basically means that some of my eggs are good and some are bad and some are just like me with the same problem. The trouble is I dont want to give up on trying for a baby because of this, there is a chance that we could go on to have lots more children but my husband is worried incase the baby is like me and has trouble when its older. My point of view is that it might not happen and even if they have the problem in 20 odd years there might be all sorts of medical advances to help him or her.

We have now come to a stale mate and he is looking for somewhere else to live, I really dont want this but I already feel like I resent him and I dont want that to turn into hate, I can see his point of view but I dont agree with it, I have always wanted lots of children and infact when we first met I told him this and he agreed thats what he wanted too, he just says now "things change", but the troulbe is I havent.

I really dont know what to do, he says that we should just be happy for the child that we have which I am very much but it doesnt stop me wanting more, infact sometimes I am sure it makes it worse because Oliver shows how good things can be and that it can work out.

This is such a tricky problem, we have tried going to see a counsellor but we just went round in circles because no one can say that one of us is right or wrong.

I would be gratefull if anyone has any advice but I dont know what it will be because we cant find the answer. We have looked into adoption but I dont feel ready to give up on our own children yet.

thanks for listening.

Sherry

[Unregistered]

Thanks Sherry for replying to my problem about wanting a child. I feel I have alot of thinking to do. As to your situation, it is tricky as you say. I can only say that I am somewhat in the same situation as you going round in circles. I agree totally what you are saying and that you feel you would love the chance to have another child, I dont see any problem in this for you but it sounds as if you and your husband have been through alot of emotional stress together. May be your husband has gone through enough trauma and feels that he cannot go through the worries again. I think women are alot stronger. I do hope you resolve your problem and that your husband will eventually feel ready to have another child. It is so difficult when you have different opionion and views than your partner. I had a very loving childhood but my husband had an unhappy child hood due to his parents having a bitter divorce, he says that his memories of childhood are sad, so I do believe what you said that this is some sort of underlying problem with him not wanting children, but its hard to try and make him understand that our child would be loved and happy.

Hope things work out for you.

xxx