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View Full Version : I am sad and lost


Serpil
25th June 2001, 04:41 AM
me and my husband has been together for 7 years last 5 months strated having arguments constantly beacuse he keeps on going out with his friend till early hours of morning every week did not have any time or energy to spend with me. I tryed to speak to him nicely but did not listen. Then 1 month 1 week ago i asked him to move out from the flat which at the moment we share with my mother. He left the house in this time of period we were seeing each other every other day i phoned him alot so did he. We spoke many times and he admited his guilt and that he went to far neglecting me and not taking me out. Two weeks ago I sad why don't u come back. He said he will never come back to this house again beacuse he needs his freedom and he can not have that when he is around. We have already booked to go on holiday before the arguments strated. When I asked him to come back I said if we don't live together how can we live on holiday make no sense I said if u don't come back and stay with me I would not go on holiday I would cancel it on monday. I waited for all day which i new his at his fathers house staying there but because i phoned him so many times it feels like i am actually begging him to come back home. We have no children yet but i was trying i thought it was time for me to have a complete family but now i am thinking of divorcing my husband because he is not showing me no feelings. Please help me i never been so sad in my life.

Dave
26th June 2001, 02:20 AM
Dear Serpil,

There seem to be several things to think about in your posting that maybe a counsellor could work through with you. Things that occur to me include:-

- how should he show his love to you? You mention "taking you out" - does he actually know this?? What would it mean if he were to "show you some feelings"?? - It's amazing how often we just assume that our partner somehow "knows" these things.

- what does "having his freedom" really mean? Have you talked to him about what he really wants?

- Does having your mother in the same flat have a part to play in this - it can be tough to deal with the pressures of an extra person in a relationship however well meaning they are.

If you are in UK I'd suggest that you find a local counsellor (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/counselling/) to help you. If you are in USA I'd also see if Retrouvaille have any weekends in your area - this might be just the right way to get away and re-discover your love for each other.

Dave