Man not interested in sex!

[Unregistered]

I have been married for nearly seven years now and things in the most part have gone extremely well. I consider that me and my husband have a good marriage. I have one problem though.....
NOT ENOUGH SEX!!. We have talked about this and things seem to be resolved in the short term but within a couple of months we are back to virtually no sex. Even the sex that we do seem to have is very selfish on my husbands part. A very quick affair resulting in only him gaining any satisfaction. This situation is extremely frustrating and it seems the more I try to talk about it the worse it gets. I have come very close to considering leaving my husband because of this but I would love not to have to do this as I believe that we have something very special and do not want to lose this but I am not sure if I can continue with such little interest in sex or me on his part. It is making me feel unattractive and as if there is something wrong with me. Generally the relationship lacks intimacy but other than this my husband is extremely supportive of me and anything I do. Any advice would be appreciated as I fear that if the sex within our marriage doesn't improve one of may seek satisfaction outside of the marriage.
Thanks.

[Unregistered]

Hi there. I know how you feel as ive been there myself. In my last relationship of 7 years we didn't have sex for a whole year. The worst thing about it is the loss of intimacy as sex is what keeps you close and sets you apart from what would otherwise be a very good friendship.

Im afraid I dont have an answer for you as I failed to resolve this issue myself. We separated unfortunately but I made it a condition in my next relationship that sex would play a substantial and important role.

My only regret was not getting out sooner as it signified the end of a relationship which ended up being more like a brother/sister thing. I have since discovered the benefits you feel inside a loving, sexual relationship and its incredible. I wish I had found it years ago instead of waiting all that time.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

[Kate]

Hi there

Have you looked at the resources on the site here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffsex/).

It would appear that not everyone has the same level of sexual desire, but that doesn't need to spell the end of a relationship. Sex is surely one of the ways that we express our love for each other. Finding ways to talk about how we feel about our sexual relationship and really trying to understand and accept our differences can make it possible to find a way forward where both of you are trying help the other. Have you talked to your husband about what each of you enjoy, what would make things more enjoyable for both of you? I think you may find some of the resources in the section mentioned above may help with suggestions.

Our sexual relationship isn't just about the having sex - it's also about being tender and loving and having fun all through the day, simpy relating to each other as a man and a woman. Why not think of some ways to show your man he is desirable all through the day and that you are aware of him.

All the best

Kate

[lynfrmva]

Hi there, I know what you are going through because I've been through it for 23 years now. We have gone as long as 3 years without once. and it usually only have sex once a year. I have even gone as far a marking my calendar at work with a star if we eventually have sex. I try to laugh it off, but it's hard. Especially when it's not you that's not wanting the sex. Don't let anyone tell you that it's not that important. If you are not happy and it keeps you stressed out this will eventually affect your health, if not just you mental health, well adjusted people want to show affection to their partners, as well as like being the receiptant of affection. If things continue on this path for you I would suggest leaving the relationship and letting him deal with his issues on his own. Lynn