Just Need To Share This

[martinfromsthelens]

You are probably used t seeing me reply to threads on here though i dont like to call them that its a place to visit when the going gets tough.
I dont think many of you will remember my original messages on here and i remember thinking at the time it was a good release for me i discovered it by accident !!!
Iwill briefly tell you my story.
I was with my partner for 6 years as a dj she used to come into the place i worked with her husband
one day she told me he was heavily in debt gambling all the household money away and illtreating the children and needed to get out.
over a period i got close to her though would not have her cheating and suggested she tell him she wanted to move out.
things got closer between us and he had in fact got another partner.We got together and she moved in with me bringing her daughters at that time who were 3 and 6. i was working from home and soon she said we would be better doing it properly
we did a business course and got a shop.my work carried on at weekends and she did the djing with me i taught her the job.
to cut a long story a little short a guy who we both knew from the past came into the shop and ordered a load of karaoke gear sayin he wanted to set up. as it was near xmas i gave him credit
and work too.this is when i noticed things werent right as he was always in our shop when i wasnt there and my partner started text messaging him at every opportunity.
about 3 months ago she walked out sayin she needed space this guys partner took him in and she was living there with them.
not long after i started getting reports of them both being seen kissing and cuddling out on the town.i asked his partner what was goin on and she said nothing it was just a freindship
anywat 2 weeks ago his partner phoned me up and said you were right he has walked out.she has just got a lot of money from an inheritance and i knew about this.she wanted us to get a pub but i was concerned that we already had a business that needed looking after
next thing i know they have took on a pub at the other end of town.very embarrasing for me cause ppl were asking whats going on ?he walked out on his 2 daughters and she has given up her girls to her ex husband who used to only have them once a week !! anyway heres the bombshell.........ive just been told that they are getting married at the end opf this month !!!
a lesson here for everyone somewhere.......i know i would never have taken her back i thought the soreness and humiliation was over this has knocked me for 6 i know it wont last i am now thinking that the only time i can move on is when i meet someone else!!! this is a long one and i am just going to say one more thing what has kept my sanity amongst all this is knowing that there are others on here that are equally as confused and bewildered god bless you all mart

[Unregistered]

Dear Martin, I am leaving the office in 5 minutes, so I don't have much time to write (will do so tomorrow). Just wanted to say that, losers attract losers. Your ex-partner and her new fiance will one day make each other more miserable than you can ever imagine! Sounds lke your ex-partner flocks to the man with the money (at the moment!). Don't dispair - you're lucky to be rid of her! I'm confused about the pub, though. Your ex-partner's new man, HIS ex-partner (the one who thought that he and your ex were just friends) SHE was the one who came into a lot fo money? So what is HE and your ex doing with the pub? I'm a bit confused. Just wanted to let you know that you are certainly not alone - and you'd be better off with no one that with a selfish loser!
Your pal in the US,
J

[martinfromsthelens]

thanks for your reply j the money is with my ex not the other guy!!she inherited it and offered to buy me stuff but i told her to be wise and put it away.
this is why i think he moved quick although it takes 2 to tango !
i texed her a few minutes ago to let her know my feelings i asked her for 3 years to get married...i think the money has changed her.
i am quite sucessful and have got plenty of money but it counts for nothing at all if you are not happy if she comes back yo me after all hers is gone i wont entertain her.
its funny as ive always said i wouldnt take her back yet this is botherin me so much now i wonder if i would have.
my feeling is that the other guy knowing she has said she wants me to remain there 4 her has made sure that im right out of the equasion now.
to be honest i know i wont sleep tonight but ii will tomorrow.

thanks j buddie i got a lot of respect from guys from yhe us and just signed up to a dating site there already been chatting to some us ladies !!! ill keep u all posted lol

[bellaioo]

Martin,I feel for you,i think she has hurt you all she can't sounds to me she is still confused as she still wants you in her life .How can she pass her children off to there father ,she can't know what love is if she can do that a mothers love is uncondiction.You sound like a great guy who could offer someone a very special relationship,you what it is to be hurt ,she dosen't deserve that kind of love.Thinking of you at this time you are bound to be feeling hurt you have a lot of history.i think you always hope there is a chance to get back to what you had.I feel numb at the moment my husband is still here but is treating me like a stranger but i still pray that he will come back to me as my husband but as each day goes on he gets further away and i am beginning to accept it might be too late to save my marriage .

[Unregistered]

Your post sounded rather upbeat this morning - and I'm glad for you. it is extremely selfish for your ex to expect you to be there for her when she's dumped all over you. You and I know that money cannot buy happiness, but it does count for a lot when it comes to living a comfortable life. Obviously, money is not an issue for you. My blunt advice would be to take some of your money, buy yourself a nice band-aid, like a cruise, maybe. A singles cruise, perhaps! Start enjoying YOUR life and don't let HER make you any more unhappy than she already has. I know it sounds simple, but what would you rather have? Someone you love and live with who doesn't love you, treats you with disrespect and ruins your life - or living WITHOUT that person?! As Dear Abby says, you have to ask yourself, "Am I better WITH her or WITHOUT her?" You know the answer. Good luck, my friend.

[martinfromsthelens]

Thanks for the posts guys.
I am just dumbfounded that it has happened so quickly thats all I am thinking that Iwill be upest when their wedding actually comes
as i know she will try and entice a lot of our freinds who incidentlly have all more or less said they want to remain freins with us both.This has proved a little difficult because i have found
myself distancing from some of them now in the knowledge that
things are getting back to them about what i am doing.
The major upset for me here is the rejection thing and the sense of failiure.I like to give 100%to everything i do and trying to get to grasps with what happened here is haunting me even though deep down it needs putting to bed now.
Its back to the old story of not getting the answers and ui dont suppose i ever will now.
At least there is a conclusion now and i have got the chance to move on which i have to take now.
I suppose i shoul be grateful for that !!