it's hard

[bellaioo]

thanks for the advice (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1194). He cameback saturday and we talked and decided we wanted to try to make this work.But he still seems distant i have to approach him for akiss or a hug .If i try to ask him how he is feeling he won't talk.He said he dosen't feel apart of the family but dosen't make a effort to join in he comes in from work has dinner makes polite conversation then goes to bed turns his back to me and goes to sleep. You areright i do follow him around the house because i want to be with him.
I have asked him if they is anyone esle involved he says not . I've got this sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach I know i need to be happy and 'normal' when he is here he has never liked disagrements he has always walked away .How can we get pass this we seem to be stuck i am trying to pay him more attention but it is't been shown back i to feel loved and cared for .Any suggestions of how to put that spark back

[martinfromsthelens]

Maybe you should try doing some of the things you used to do when you first met.
You need to love eachother again.
Try going to some of the places you remember you had fun at...did you ever go and walk on the beach.....walk in the park ?
that favourite place you used to drive to?
You need to keep tal;king too take it a day at a time.
He is back with you and this is a base to build around.
You will find out soon enough if the sparks are there to make this work again.Its not gonna be easy but then again life never is !!

[Liz]

I agree, why not try to do some things together. If he likes to play golf, why not try and go along with him. You could also try and stir up some romance (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/php-bin/jump.php?linkid=111).

You could also see if he would go on a marriage enrichment weekend (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/healthclub/servprov/) with you.

Do you know how he experiences love? Is it the things you say, or gifts, or quality time spent with him, or physical touch or thougtful actions. The way we know ourselves loved can be different. For example my husband's thoughtful actions are very important to me, and I know physical touch and affection are important to him? We tend to try and communicate in the way we like to be loved without accepting it may be different for our partner and then we wonder where we went wrong.

Just a few thoughts

Liz

[bellaioo]

It makes me feel stronger being able to write down my thoughts and feelings iam so glad i found this site just when i needed it.
Things seem a bit easier between us he cuddled up to me this morning and kissed me which hasn't happened for a while .we are going out tomorrow night my mum is having the children over night .So i things are moving forward i have to let him take it at his pace ,we aren't going to fix this overnight but i feel we might have a chance to save our marriage.