Help yourself stay safe
By Davina James-Hanman
Some practical hints
Save Money
Save whatever money you can in a bank account which is in your name only. Keep the bank book in a place where your partner won’t find it. You can ask the bank not to send you any mail relating to your account. Many women are surprised by how quickly and suddenly they may be in an emergency situation. Save from the housekeeping or however you can if you don’t have any other source of income. Knowing you have an emergency fund will give you one less thing to worry about. If possible, try to avoid taking out new loans. If you leave in an emergency, close joint bank accounts as soon as possible to avoid him running up an overdraft.
Pregnancy
Do not get pregnant if you think your relationship is not good and may become more abusive. Make sure you control your birth control method; your GP can help you decide which method suits you best. Your partner may abuse you even more while you are pregnant and after you give birth. Pregnancy could make it harder for you to leave. If you become pregnant and don’t want to be, get counselling to help you discuss your options. If you are already pregnant, you can follow these other survival measures.
Secrets Are Harmful
Don’t be ashamed to discuss your situation with others who believe that abuse is wrong. You need support and there are people who will help. However, there are still people who wrongly believe that it’s OK for a man to hit his partner or that it is her fault if he does. Choose the people you talk with carefully.
Relax And Play
Find something that you like to do for yourself; you deserve to have some happiness and fun in your life. It needn’t be something huge or expensive; perhaps a walk in the local park, a bunch of flowers, a hot bubble bath, an uninterrupted half an hour reading or listening to music. Make a list of things you could do and try to do at least one a day
Eat Well And Regularly
Your physical health affects the way you feel and how well you can cope with stress. You are a person of value and deserve to be treated well. Feeling physically healthy can help you to feel emotionally stronger
Be Aware Of Abusing Pills, Alcohol And Other Drugs
Some women take pills to calm their nerves, or they try to block out the pain and anxiety by drinking too much or taking other drugs. This will not help in the long term and can help keep you helpless because you can’t think clearly. You also end up losing energy that you may need to help yourself
Get Some Job Skills
It will be easier for you to be independent if you have some job skills and the future will look a lot less frightening. If you need to develop some job skills or up-date the ones you already have, do it as soon as possible. Your nearest library or Benefits Agency will be able to help. Even if you can’t get a job or don’t want one, you could do volunteer work. This might help you develop more skills which would make you feel better about yourself and it will introduce you to new people to stop you from being isolated.