The process of seeking help

By Davina James-Hanman

Woman seeks formal intervention

This is the stage that others usually want all women to be at and are often frustrated by what they perceive as the passiveness of the previous stages. Leaving is usually a serious option by this stage although even here, permanent separation may still not be being considered. Nevertheless, it is at this stage that women seek specific and formal intervention from agencies. It is worth remembering though that the services offered by agencies may not be the same as the intervention she seeks. For example, what she may want is for the violence to stop and for him to receive help in addressing his abusive behaviour. What may be on offer is temporary accommodation, pursuing a prosecution which, if successful will result in a short prison sentence. As a general rule, agencies rarely welcome service users telling them that the services they offer do not fit their needs. The tendency when this occurs is not for agencies to address the structure, quality or even type of service that they provide, but instead to blame women for not being sufficiently grateful for what is being offered. All too often, this can even degenerate into people being suspicious that the violence is not that serious or even real.