Can Government Rescue Marriages?
By Dr Scott M Stanley & Dr Howard J Markman
New Fault, No Fault
The chief aim of initiatives to make divorce more difficult is to get couples to
work harder at making their marriages work, and to reduce the degree to which
society collectively thinks of marriages as disposable. As part of this
movement, many state assemblies (e.g., Michigan, Georgia, Illinois, Virginia, and
others) are considering the reintroduction of fault into divorce proceedings, or
introducing longer waiting periods and/or requiring pre-divorce counseling. For
most couples, it will be "too little too late." Most people do not file for
divorce or even seriously entertain the idea until the marriage quality is
severely eroded. These issues can be understood in the context of our research
on commitment.
Commitment encompasses two related but different concepts: Dedication and
Constraint. Dedication refers to the intrinsic devotion of one to another, and
it is evidenced by thinking as a team, desiring a future together, placing a high
priority on the relationship, and protecting the marriage from attractive
alternatives. Constraint refers more to forces that tend to keep people
committed when they might want to leave: e.g., children, limited financial
resources, social pressure, moral beliefs about divorce, and the difficulty of
the steps to end a marriage.
Essentially, the legal steps to reintroduce fault in divorce proceedings or to
increase waiting times enhance constraint commitment. Making it harder to end a
marriage would very likely make divorce a less attractive option. And there is
some evidence that when people perceive their options as less attractive, they
are more likely to work harder at making their present relationship work. These
are the intended, positive aims of such initiatives. However, such measures may
actually increase resentment and the sense of being trapped. In the worst cases,
such changes could help keep some marriages together that both conservative and
liberals would agree are hugely destructive for adults and children (e.g.,
battering situations). Moreover, it is possible that such measures could have
the unintended negative consequence of fewer people choosing to marry in the
first place--thereby undermining the very institution the laws are designed to
strengthen.
Whether or not making divorce more difficult is good family law (the issues are
very complex), the superior goal would be to do all we can as a society to
support and encourage increased dedication to spouses and marriage. Perhaps
divorce laws are too liberal. Perhaps it should be less easy to cast off a
marriage. Either way, divorce laws do not cause divorce--the real problem is the
low quality marital relationships that lead to decisions to divorce. The force
of law can make divorce harder, but such laws do not teach couples how to build
great marriages.