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   Home  > Articles

Forgiveness - one of the keys to a healthy marriage

By Kate

The scourge of unforgiveness

One of the most ruthless destroyers of relationships is unforgiveness. It puts a barrier between us and our loved one. It’s like an atomic bomb sitting hidden away ready to explode if things start going wrong between us. How many times have you argued and turned to your store of grievances to find another weapon to lob at your opponent.

“And another thing…..”
“You always………”
“You never………”
“You did the same thing last week….”
“I’ve never forgotten how you…….”

Still worse is when we nurse our hurt until it turns into bitterness and hate. We become completely unwilling to see anything good in the other. We become literally blinded and focussed on things from our own point of view.

Asking for and giving forgiveness are the key, but many of us haven’t really learnt to forgive as children. If we don’t see our parents’ brothers and sisters, friends, teachers do it, then we don’t know what it means. I once had a conversation with a friend from a broken home about forgiving her husband for something. Very sheepishly she told me “I can’t. I don’t know how.”

Learning to forgive


In this article
- The scourge of unforgiveness
- Learning to forgive
- Forgiving when the hurt continues

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